Life Past 30

When I was younger, the prospect of experiencing insomnia seemed far-fetched, but I soon realized that it sneaks up on you until one day, you find yourself staring at the ceiling when you should be sleeping.  During my teens and early twenties, I never had any problems with sleeping, although falling asleep usually took a little longer for me than most people.  However, once I went to sleep, I stayed sleep until the alarm went off.  I began suffering from bouts of insomnia when I was 27.  The first time it happened, I thought nothing of it and attributed it to something I had eaten the evening before.  As the years went on, insomnia crept up on me from nowhere and caused much frustration in daily life and activities.  I tried using a sleep aid once, but when I found myself waking up feeling more tired that I was before I went to bed, I decided that was not the way to go. 

Over time, I have learned to deal with the occasional episode of insomnia, although I am still very much annoyed by them.  Not being able to sleep is one of the worst feelings in the world, but exercise and diet seem to help me battle this issue when it occurs.  Luckily, I do not suffer from insomnia too often, but when it shows up, it puts a damper on my day.  I hope it does not happen again any time soon.

November 27, 2008 will go down in history, at least in my book.  I am not a person who enjoys cooking and only do it because my body and my daughter require daily sustenance.  Cooking has never been an activity that I wanted to do often, but is quite necessary.  Besides my slight disdain for cooking, I am a good cook and my daughter enjoys eating what I prepare.  Admittedly, preparing and cooking homemade french fries from red potatoes is something I enjoy immensely and cooking anything else feels like a chore.  Thanksgiving of 2008 should go down in history because I cooked my very first turkey - ever!  My daughter and I buttered and covered with Turkey Rub the magnificent bird, then he was placed in the oven.  What was to be a somewhat experimental meal turned out to be a hit that received wonderful accolades.  What made it even more special is the fact that I LIKED cooking it.  Now, I cannot say for sure if I am willing to do it again.  I do not want to move too fast and make promises that I may not keep.  Being domestically inclined is one of my weak points, but I do what must be done anyway, you know, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. 

When my daughter tasted the first bite of turkey and stuffing, her eyes became large, although she did not utter a word.  I asked her for her honest opinion and had to wait until she had finished chewing and swallowing her food.  She looked me in the eyes and said, “Mom, this is the best turkey I’ve ever had.  It’s better than Grandma’s.”   Well, imagine how great that made me feel.  She then went on to suggest that I make Thanksgiving dinner EVERY year as I thought to myself, “What have I done?!”.  Anyway, perhaps I will cook one more turkey for Christmas and call it day.  Good things should never be overdone.  

I was supposed to run this weekend.  The trek I had planned was going to last for 20-30 minutes, just as a test.  This weekend was going to be “the” weekend for me to see where my body is in terms of healing and ability.  Unfortunately, I was not able to get around to it.  Since running the marathon, I have been feeling better with each passing week and now that I am ready for a short run, I have not had the time to do it.  This is where some frustration has been able to creep in.

When I was running on a regular basis, I felt and slept better.  My stress levels were lower than usual, even with the stuff I have going on every day.  Right now, I feel pretty good, but have noticed a slight increase in stress.  No, let me rephrase that.  I have noticed a slight increase in how I have been dealing with stress.  Lately, my patience has not been holding up as well as it did when I was running.  I am becoming easily irritated and do not like it.  Besides listening to my favorite music, running allows me to forget about everything.

It is interesting for me to note the changes I have been experiencing since running the marathon.  After being careful with walking and other daily activities, for the two weeks following the race, I began feeling a little withdrawn.  I am sure it was due to some hormonal changes that were taking place in my body as it fixed itself and adjusted to the strain I put it through on that day.  Now, I am feeling more like myself, but still needing to run.  With that said, I will use the Thanksgiving holiday to try my first run.  The two days off will give me a chance to assess my body and its limits.

I must rescind the “Worst Morning” award given to yesterday’s morning rush hour.  THIS morning was the worst, but crocheting helped me deal with it.  As I progressed in making the scarf I plan on wearing out of here this evening, I stopped caring about the traffic and was happy to have the seat beside me remain empty all the way to the downtown area.  Not one person interrupted me while I crocheted and my ears were not assailed by the screaming of young children.  Don’t get me wrong, I love children, but I cannot tolerate uncontrolled outbursts and fits.  That is just one reason why I do not go to Chuck E. Cheese’s.  Overall, the bus was very quiet and that is always a great thing.   

I woke up in a great mood this morning because, for the first time in a long time, I was able to snag 9 hours of sleep last night.  I honestly cannot recall the last time I was able to do that.  I stayed away from the computer when I got home and was not tempted in the least to log on.  Feeling good as I write this post, my mind is racing with thoughts of running again.  December 1st will be here before I know it and the prospect of hitting the pavement and clearing my head is so welcoming.  I have been perusing a few sites that sell workout clothing and found a few items that will be perfect for running in the cold.  The shoes I wore during the marathon still have a lot of miles on them, but I plan on buying another pair soon.  With the number of miles I plan on running, the new shoes will come in handy.  Now, if only I could find a way to fast forward through the next couple of weeks. 

As I have written before, the bus is the mode of transportation I use to get to and from work during the week.  Normally, the ride is uneventful and relatively quick, however, this morning was the worst of all.  Sure, it could get worse, but since I cannot see into the future, it holds the record for the worst morning on the bus.  First, I had to stand in the cold among many other people who were waiting to get on the bus.  After boarding and finding a seat, I, along with everyone else, had the displeasure of having to sit in traffic for 20 minutes before finally being able to get across the bridge.  I would not normally get upset over this, but I left the house a little earlier than usual and feel my time was wasted.  Reaching the bridge has become somewhat of a problem in recent days due to the increased amount of traffic.  The lower gas prices have been luring people back into their cars and since they have hit road, morning rush hour has been a nightmare. 

Learning to be patient is a daily battle for me and some days are worse than others.  However, I do not see a logical reason for drivers to take so long to press the gas pedal when the light turns green.  How hard is it for someone to accelerate their car when they see a green light.  There is nothing mesmerizing about a green light, but I could be wrong.  Were it not for those “slow ones”, the traffic flow just might improve a bit.  I think that is asking too much of them, especially since most of them are preoccupied with something else when they should be watching the road…and the lights.  I will be crocheting on the bus tomorrow, you know, just in case there’s a 30 minute delay in traffic.  Now I wish the gas prices were above $3 a gallon.   

A few years ago, when I was in my twenties (ahem), I used to meditate once a week.  This relaxing and rejuvenating weekly practice allowed me to regain any sanity I had lost during preceding week.  Depending on the amount of time I had, I would meditate anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour and I always felt better afterwards.  Whatever had happened during the week was washed away and became an instant memory.  Then I stopped.  I’m still trying to remember when and why I stopped, but I believe it was around the time I became a mother and felt I had better things to do with my time.   

Recently, I’ve been thinking about developing a meditation routine again.   Since I’m older and less patient, it will be needed twice a week versus once.  Listening to music just isn’t as soothing as it used to be and I want to get back to what worked so well.  Meditating, for me, is five times better than the euphoric feeling I get after running.  I’m sure both activities will enable me to reach new heights of serenity and patience.  They’re very much needed.      

I enjoy eating food that appeals to my tastes and level of freshness, but when I come across something that jolts my palate, I find it hard to resist.  That’s what I’m going through with the veggie burrito from Chipotle.  This burrito is absolutely delicious, but it has to be made to my specifications, i.e., extra sour cream and guacamole.  This is in addition to the cilantro lime rice, onions, and green peppers.  There is, however, one tiny problem.

The issue I have with getting my burrito is dealing with a particular female Chipotle employee.   She seems to hate giving me extra guacamole and always says, “It’ll be $2.00 extra” with a slight sneer in her voice.  I tell her that I know about the extra charge and I always get extra guacamole and each time, she exudes a crappy attitude.  Normally when people try to be ugly, I’ll ignore them and let it roll, but this case is different because she doesn’t do this to anyone else but me.  When I say I want extra guacamole, I want it sans attitude.  She is oblivious to the fact that she is testing what little patience I have for people who act like she does.  As a result, she is running a very high risk of being publicly embarrassed.  I really don’t want to make a scene, but she’s asking for it.

Patience with the ignorant is something I don’t think I will ever fully develop.  It’s almost as though I was born with an aversion to ignorance and rudeness and feel compelled to counteract it when it’s in front of me.  I pray next week goes well for me since I’ll be going back to Chipotle.  If it doesn’t and she acts the same way, she’s going to get an earful…in front of everyone.  No more chances.