Life Past 30

I am finally beginning to shed the blues I had during the extremely cold winter we had.  After suffering from cold, stiff fingers, a numb nose, and mean winds, I volunteer to be the first person to bid winter goodbye!  I happily wore a jacket today and left the coat behind.  It felt good.  Now that Spring is here, my spirit is soaring and yearning for a change of scenery.  Lately, I have been dreaming of taking a nice vacation where the weather is warm, the water is blue, and the night breezes are mild.  Rejuvenation is what I crave and any island will do right now.

This summer will be the perfect time to take a break between training for this year’s Marine Corps Marathon and running it.  An island break is my prescription for getting rid of heavy clothes and forgetting dreary skies.  One thing I miss about being in Okinawa is being able to go to the nearest beach, have a few drinks, and watch the sun rise.  Okinawa is where I was able to truly relax and take in the scenery.  I plan on rekindling a bit of that this year!

Normally, I am a happy-go-lucky person who is balanced with serious and comedic qualities.  My mood swings are usually mild and last for short periods of time, however, since Monday, I have been in a less-than-happy mood.  I am not sure if it was due to the end of the Thanksgiving holiday and coming back to work, hearing/watching the depressing news, or something else altogether.  Since Monday, the traffic has gotten under my skin more than usual and the multiple conversations on the bus have really gotten on my nerves.  However, I am happy to report this episode of intermittent irritation has finally come to an end.  I feel wonderful today and all feelings of wanting to be alone in a quiet place are gone.  Well, not completely, I still need my few hours to myself on the weekends.  I know that everyone goes through periods like or similar to this, but for me, it does not happen too often.  Perhaps I just need an extended break from the rat race to regroup or I need to run more since that relieves stress.  I am just glad to be feeling like myself again and am looking forward to the Christmas holiday and New Year’s Eve. 

When I was younger, the prospect of experiencing insomnia seemed far-fetched, but I soon realized that it sneaks up on you until one day, you find yourself staring at the ceiling when you should be sleeping.  During my teens and early twenties, I never had any problems with sleeping, although falling asleep usually took a little longer for me than most people.  However, once I went to sleep, I stayed sleep until the alarm went off.  I began suffering from bouts of insomnia when I was 27.  The first time it happened, I thought nothing of it and attributed it to something I had eaten the evening before.  As the years went on, insomnia crept up on me from nowhere and caused much frustration in daily life and activities.  I tried using a sleep aid once, but when I found myself waking up feeling more tired that I was before I went to bed, I decided that was not the way to go. 

Over time, I have learned to deal with the occasional episode of insomnia, although I am still very much annoyed by them.  Not being able to sleep is one of the worst feelings in the world, but exercise and diet seem to help me battle this issue when it occurs.  Luckily, I do not suffer from insomnia too often, but when it shows up, it puts a damper on my day.  I hope it does not happen again any time soon.

November 27, 2008 will go down in history, at least in my book.  I am not a person who enjoys cooking and only do it because my body and my daughter require daily sustenance.  Cooking has never been an activity that I wanted to do often, but is quite necessary.  Besides my slight disdain for cooking, I am a good cook and my daughter enjoys eating what I prepare.  Admittedly, preparing and cooking homemade french fries from red potatoes is something I enjoy immensely and cooking anything else feels like a chore.  Thanksgiving of 2008 should go down in history because I cooked my very first turkey - ever!  My daughter and I buttered and covered with Turkey Rub the magnificent bird, then he was placed in the oven.  What was to be a somewhat experimental meal turned out to be a hit that received wonderful accolades.  What made it even more special is the fact that I LIKED cooking it.  Now, I cannot say for sure if I am willing to do it again.  I do not want to move too fast and make promises that I may not keep.  Being domestically inclined is one of my weak points, but I do what must be done anyway, you know, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. 

When my daughter tasted the first bite of turkey and stuffing, her eyes became large, although she did not utter a word.  I asked her for her honest opinion and had to wait until she had finished chewing and swallowing her food.  She looked me in the eyes and said, “Mom, this is the best turkey I’ve ever had.  It’s better than Grandma’s.”   Well, imagine how great that made me feel.  She then went on to suggest that I make Thanksgiving dinner EVERY year as I thought to myself, “What have I done?!”.  Anyway, perhaps I will cook one more turkey for Christmas and call it day.  Good things should never be overdone.  

For the past three days, I have been experiencing a nagging pain in the back of my right knee.  That is the knee I had surgery on 10 years ago and for some reason, the pain is exacerbated by sitting for long periods of time.  Another thing I have noticed, besides the pain, is some accompanying swelling.  This is more than likely the cause of the pain behind my knee.  Stretching and massaging the area mitigates the discomfort, but only temporarily.  I am quite sure this is the result of running the marathon, but I do not know why it is affecting me now.  It is almost like it was lying-in-wait until I was ready to start training again.  An ambush.  I am sitting here now and constantly shifting in my chair because movement while sitting helps a little. 

I understand perfectly that marathon running puts a lot of strain on the body and that the healing process can sometimes take longer than expected.  Up until three days ago, everything was feeling great and then this new pain showed itself.  I wish it would go back to where ever it came from.  Its presence is only telling me that I need to run a little and soon!  The only thing I can do between now and Thursday is continue to stretch the area and deal with the discomfort the best way I know how.  Did I mention that my knee issues get under my skin sometimes?   

I was supposed to run this weekend.  The trek I had planned was going to last for 20-30 minutes, just as a test.  This weekend was going to be “the” weekend for me to see where my body is in terms of healing and ability.  Unfortunately, I was not able to get around to it.  Since running the marathon, I have been feeling better with each passing week and now that I am ready for a short run, I have not had the time to do it.  This is where some frustration has been able to creep in.

When I was running on a regular basis, I felt and slept better.  My stress levels were lower than usual, even with the stuff I have going on every day.  Right now, I feel pretty good, but have noticed a slight increase in stress.  No, let me rephrase that.  I have noticed a slight increase in how I have been dealing with stress.  Lately, my patience has not been holding up as well as it did when I was running.  I am becoming easily irritated and do not like it.  Besides listening to my favorite music, running allows me to forget about everything.

It is interesting for me to note the changes I have been experiencing since running the marathon.  After being careful with walking and other daily activities, for the two weeks following the race, I began feeling a little withdrawn.  I am sure it was due to some hormonal changes that were taking place in my body as it fixed itself and adjusted to the strain I put it through on that day.  Now, I am feeling more like myself, but still needing to run.  With that said, I will use the Thanksgiving holiday to try my first run.  The two days off will give me a chance to assess my body and its limits.

In an effort to catch up on blogging, I stayed up way too late last night and into this morning knowing that I had to work today.  I figured since I had some energy left over from the easy day yesterday, I could swing it without any problems.  When I finally rested my head on my pillow, the time was 5:49AM this morning.  Surprisingly, I woke up at 8:38 this morning, although I felt quite groggy and wished to crawl back into bed.  I heard somewhere that the older you get, the less sleep you need.  I am beginning to think that was a lie.  I need all the Zzz’s I can catch and at least 7 hours of sleep a night to feel like myself.

Of course, it was not always this way as I used to have work/party marathons for three days straight when I was in my twenties.  Back then, my friends and I could literally work all day long for 10 hours, go home, shower, and dress for a night out on the town and go straight to work afterwards.  These days, staying up late is restricted only to the weekends and up to Saturdays mostly.  Sundays are needed for me to recuperate from the lack of proper sleep on Friday and Saturday night, but tonight will be different.  Once I have completed this post and another post on my other blog, I am heading straight to the bed to count sheep.

Lately, I have been having bouts of nostalgia and feeling like I want to be 16 again.  That was a great for me, although it was not a great time for many people here at that time.  The city was dealing with a highly elevated crime rate with people being killed almost every night.  Back then, I was two years away from being a legal adult and making my own decisions and I loved it.  Life was still good when I turned 18, got my first tattoo, danced the night away at a club for the first time, and enlisted in the Marine Corps.  Fourteen years later, I am sometimes amazed at how those early days seem like yesterday to me.

I love being 32 and feel stronger, mentally and physically, than I did after becoming a Marine.  I have always heard that the “thirties” is the decade where you find yourself and mold yourself into what you want to be.  Since 2006, I have learned it is also the time when little things have more importance and you give more thought to your actions and behavior.  Although perpetually impatient, I am calmer than my 21 year old self.  I am still learning that wisdom comes from life experiences, both good and bad, and how you deal with them.  I even find myself telling my daughter the same things my mother used to say to me.

Regaling my daughter with stories of my childhood and early adulthood give me great pleasure because it enables me to share my memories of a different era with her.  Every day, I try to make her youth as enjoyable or better than mine was.  Watching her grow into young woman is the best thing I could ask for.  This growing up thing is pretty cool.

I must rescind the “Worst Morning” award given to yesterday’s morning rush hour.  THIS morning was the worst, but crocheting helped me deal with it.  As I progressed in making the scarf I plan on wearing out of here this evening, I stopped caring about the traffic and was happy to have the seat beside me remain empty all the way to the downtown area.  Not one person interrupted me while I crocheted and my ears were not assailed by the screaming of young children.  Don’t get me wrong, I love children, but I cannot tolerate uncontrolled outbursts and fits.  That is just one reason why I do not go to Chuck E. Cheese’s.  Overall, the bus was very quiet and that is always a great thing.   

I woke up in a great mood this morning because, for the first time in a long time, I was able to snag 9 hours of sleep last night.  I honestly cannot recall the last time I was able to do that.  I stayed away from the computer when I got home and was not tempted in the least to log on.  Feeling good as I write this post, my mind is racing with thoughts of running again.  December 1st will be here before I know it and the prospect of hitting the pavement and clearing my head is so welcoming.  I have been perusing a few sites that sell workout clothing and found a few items that will be perfect for running in the cold.  The shoes I wore during the marathon still have a lot of miles on them, but I plan on buying another pair soon.  With the number of miles I plan on running, the new shoes will come in handy.  Now, if only I could find a way to fast forward through the next couple of weeks. 

As I have written before, the bus is the mode of transportation I use to get to and from work during the week.  Normally, the ride is uneventful and relatively quick, however, this morning was the worst of all.  Sure, it could get worse, but since I cannot see into the future, it holds the record for the worst morning on the bus.  First, I had to stand in the cold among many other people who were waiting to get on the bus.  After boarding and finding a seat, I, along with everyone else, had the displeasure of having to sit in traffic for 20 minutes before finally being able to get across the bridge.  I would not normally get upset over this, but I left the house a little earlier than usual and feel my time was wasted.  Reaching the bridge has become somewhat of a problem in recent days due to the increased amount of traffic.  The lower gas prices have been luring people back into their cars and since they have hit road, morning rush hour has been a nightmare. 

Learning to be patient is a daily battle for me and some days are worse than others.  However, I do not see a logical reason for drivers to take so long to press the gas pedal when the light turns green.  How hard is it for someone to accelerate their car when they see a green light.  There is nothing mesmerizing about a green light, but I could be wrong.  Were it not for those “slow ones”, the traffic flow just might improve a bit.  I think that is asking too much of them, especially since most of them are preoccupied with something else when they should be watching the road…and the lights.  I will be crocheting on the bus tomorrow, you know, just in case there’s a 30 minute delay in traffic.  Now I wish the gas prices were above $3 a gallon.